his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
