Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
