This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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