I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
