i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
