So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
