ugly people sure do ruin things
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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