yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
