the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
