Got a toothbrush?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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