it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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