there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am available for nakedness
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
