Non-Jews are for practice
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
