Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I want to have your abortion
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
