I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
