Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
