matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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