My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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