She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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