My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Congratulations! We have a period
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
