Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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