he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
