there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
