Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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