When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
