as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
