if you like me you must not know who I am
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
