After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
