Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
