He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
