Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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