32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
