My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
