Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
someone owes me an orgasm
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize