i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
