Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
