Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
