Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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