You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
