After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize