jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
