he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
