nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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