He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
