We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
