I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
