uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
