i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
