it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
