I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
