how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
