I love black thongs
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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